Time-starved. Overwhelmed. Stressed out. How on earth do we add self-care to that toxic mix? I hear this often from my coaching clients, AND from the indignant, annoying chatter of my own inner voice. Overachievers (like many of my clients and I) are notorious for putting self-care on the back burner!
But let’s be real, the best cure for overwhelm and stress is practicing self-care. It’s like the oxygen we all need to thrive in our busy, complicated lifestyles.
In Part 1 of this blog, I shared my 10 Essentials for Non-Negotiable Self-Care. Today’s blog (Part 2), outlines the first three steps you need to take, to make that happen.
If you’re ready to finally make self-care your new non-negotiable, these practical steps are golden!
STEP #1 – BABY STEPS
Practice one new self-care habit – even on your busiest days.
If you lack good self-care habits, solid strategies and structures are needed from the start. Without them, it’s too easy to slip back to old habits.
Ironically, baby-stepping and go-to strategies are often overlooked. Don’t skip these! They are that critical to creating any new habit!
The one no-brainer, but oh-so-essential first step I recommend is the DO NOT rule. When we’re in a state of exhaustion, overwhelm, and chronic stress, we lack the bandwidth – even the motivation – to know what we truly want.
Since we’re certain about what we DON’T want, why not start there?
In Part 1 of my previous blog, I shared how I hit a wall last Fall. An example of one baby step I took – that felt like a huge leap, to be honest – was to take 5 days of R & R armed with two DO NOT rules….
- DO NOT do anything related to my work or loved ones.
- DO NOT do anything that feels like a SHOULD. Well, okay…do brush my teeth!
Client examples of DO NOT rules I often see ….
- DO NOT work beyond 6pm weekdays, or ever on weekends.
- DO NOT start the day before having a quiet coffee or tea.
- DO NOT book meetings after 5pm.
- DO NOT pay for a gym membership that’s never used.
- DO NOT ignore the need for adequate sleep.
Tip! The key to staying committed to any DO NOT rule, is having a fail-proof back-up strategy in place.
In my case last year, I came up with three (I know me, I’m a tough nut to crack!). If anything felt like a “should” or I felt the urge to do anything work-related, my three go-to strategies were to….
- Read fluff. Simply stick to light, entertaining books and magazines. Nothing about personal growth or coaching or anything requiring “learning”.
- Sleep or nap whenever I felt like it.
- Relax & do nothing….eeek!
Spoiler Alert: Getting started is easy when we really want something. It’s breaking through limiting beliefs, procrastination and discomfort – even for positive changes – that can trip us up, and keep us from what we truly want.
I want life-lasting self-care habits for you! Start with baby steps and you will succeed!
STEP #2 – MOMENTUM
Find the time to make self-care a scheduled habit.
Making self-care non-negotiable implies that it’s lacking right now. If that’s the case, it’s not likely to be an instant fix.
Even if you practice elements of self-care, choosing to make it a priority takes some thought and time. You need to decide which things in your daily life will have to shift, take a back seat, or be eliminated. There’s no getting around that, but it’s soooo worth it!
Taking intentional, deliberate steps and choosing what works best for you and your lifestyle is key. The more your new self-care habits “fit” into your current lifestyle, the more likely you are to succeed.
For example, some of my clients block out time for themselves at the end of their day. Since I’m an early riser, I’m very deliberate about scheduling my self-care early in the morning, before work. Barring any emergencies, this is dedicated ‘me time’, and nothing takes its place.
Again, consider your lifestyle, block off dedicated time when self-care is your priority, and commit to it, even if it’s only 15 minutes a day.
Momentum like this is all about self-leadership. It’s so empowering to assume personal responsibility for making changes that improve our lives!
STEP #3 – CONSISTENCY
Make self-care a priority on your to-do list. No exceptions.
It might feel awkward, annoying, or even uncomfortable NOT to allow exceptions. Know that you’re not alone. This is normal! Even positive change comes with resistance when shifting outside the comfort of our usual habits and behaviour.
The net-net? Set realistic boundaries and exercise self-discipline. Remember the oxygen mask theory? Give yourself permission to make yourself a priority and create that strong foundation.
Then, get back into the many roles of your daily life and keep achieving all that you do…. With less stress, more energy and a way better sense of ease.
Barring extraordinary circumstances or emergencies, the goal is to keep you at the top of your list consistently, without letting anything interfere. Each day. Every week. Every Month.
For example, if you decide that part of your self-care is getting back to the gym or yoga studio, a good starting place is to simply NOT allow anything to interfere with that time: Not meetings. Not loved ones. Not even your mood.
Find another solution for whatever comes up that might get in the way. It might mean scheduling another time for that meeting or loved one, or giving your negative mood a time out. (Yes, our thoughts – both positive and negative – are THAT powerful!).
You can accomplish any goal you set, including better self-care.
Do whatever it takes to stay committed! Flip negative beliefs and give yourself permission to create a self-care plan.
…It’s smart, not selfish.
…It’s productive, not time sucking.
…it’s new-found ease (not stress or overwhelm!).
So bella, why not make your self-care a non-negotiable priority, starting TODAY?
Try this 7 day challenge!
- Choose one or two self-care actions (See My 10 Essentials List here.)
- Create a ritual or routine that incorporates them into your lifestyle and schedule (It’s up to you how much time you give them).
- Do them consistently for just 7 days. Make them a priority on your to-do list. No exceptions (that’s the non-negotiable part!).
I can’t wait for you to reap the benefits from this 7 day experiment! I’m convinced these 3 first steps will help you create the foundation needed to make self-care your new non-negotiable.
Wondering how to squeeze in time to make self-care your new non-negotiable? I can help you.
Book a Clarity Chat with me on my calendar by clicking this button.
Is better self-care missing in your life? Could it be creating major stress for you, maybe even burnout?
It’s smart to be AWARE of your stress symptoms. I created a quick quiz that does just that. Sign up here to get your quiz.
Tell me about your 7 Day Self-Care Challenge.
What first steps did you create to make self-care your new non-negotiable habit? Leave me your comments in the space below (and thanks for sharing!).