Despite pervasive stress in today’s society, it doesn’t have to disrupt your life or threaten your well-being. Because YOU ACTUALLY CAN CONTROL its effects!
Now, full disclosure: Although I’ve studied, experienced and taught others about recognizing, avoiding, acknowledging and managing stress; I have to tell you that I’m still vulnerable to the devious nature of stress myself.
Let me regale you with my latest stress-induced meltdown – a convoluted mix of squirrels, a water leak, technology and ladybugs….
It started with a tiny hole in my ceiling. Suspecting a squirrel in the attic, wildlife officials lured it out and relocated it after several days. Hey, a little disconcerting, but no big deal. I was DOING WELL managing that stress.
Days later, we woke up to a water leak in our basement and news that all the flooring had to be replaced.
SERIOUSLY!??
After thinking a few salty expletives, I shifted from deer-in-headlights exasperation and congratulated myself for at least COPING with these unexpected events – until l I heard a loud, sawing noise ….
What the??#~%^*?!
That crazy squirrel was back and drilling another hole through my bathroom ceiling!
Have you any idea how it feels to be outsmarted by a squirrel who refuses to be evicted?!
VULNERABLE – that’s what! On edge…. Waiting for the other shoe to drop…. [Turns out, our squirrel had a buddy….].
And then the flooded basement took on a life of its own, with a ton of ROADBLOCKS demanding attention.
And CRAZY-MAKING S-T-R-E-S-S!!
Insurance agents, revolving contractors with dirty boots and noisy tools. Material delays, stat holidays, contractor no-shows; rescheduled business calls, postponed events; constant interruptions….
I kept telling myself: This will end soon….It is what it is… I can’t control it…. Just concentrate on my business!
I was sooo tired! My entire home was under siege – from attic to basement, things were out of my control! Frazzled pets, frazzled humans and crazy mealtimes. What was supposed to take three weeks – max! – stretched into six months, and the holiday season!
But by month four, I’d slipped into a state of CHRONIC CHAOS without even knowing it. Yep, I had all those classic signs of stress my clients experience: I was exhausted but unable to sleep – my mind simply wouldn’t turn off. Anxious to keep the disruptions from harming my business, I worked longer and harder at a time when I was learning a lot of new technology (not recommended when one is sleep deprived)!
I did my best to push all the anxiety and stress out of sight; I was getting sick more often. I was impatient and snippy, longing to just isolate.
And, just when I was truly reaching my wits’ end, the ladybugs appeared. Who can’t stop to marvel at a ladybug… but three??
One by one they made a charmed landing on my sleeve…
It took a trio of ladybugs to snap me out of my mental and emotional chaos and shift my whole attitude!
Curious, I learned that symbolically, ladybugs were seen to be tiny messengers. There’s no doubt in my mind that those quaint little beings were reminding me to BE PATIENT.
Those ladybugs really rocked it cuz that time-out was just what I needed: I was reminded to step back and simply take a deep breath…. I took a good, earnest look at where my stress had taken me and emerged with a renewed, positive perspective.
I realized I was my own client! But I was dealing badly with my own stress, so I decided to follow what I teach my clients to do. So now, having done exactly that, I’ve compiled a special, little lady-bug list of treasured tips just for you!
10 STEPS TO MANAGE YOUR STRESS WITH FINESSE
I bet you’re thinking: “Great! All I need is another to-do list! Like I’ve got time and energy for something else?!!”
Ok, I hear you, I’ve been there and I get it; the thing is these steps can be done in a manner of minutes! I can do it in 5 minutes. YOU may choose to take 15 to 20 minutes, or even longer if it suits you. That’s up to you.
So please, do try these next 10 steps because they work! They’re worth every second it takes to feel relaxed, energized and free from the grips of stress overload:
1. Stop. Give yourself a time-out.
- Find a quiet place to think – sit in a garden or under a tree, curl up in a favorite chair or corner. Hide in your bathroom if that’s the only quiet space – whatever you need.
2. Take a moment to settle yourself – get comfortable.
- Try closing your eyes and taking a deep, slow breath in, hold for a second, and exhale slowly and deeply.
- Contemplate… And simply notice three things:
1. Your body – what sensations do you feel? Where do you feel tense or sore?
2. Your emotions – what feelings are surfacing?
3. Your mindset – what thoughts are racing in your mind and bombarding your quietness?
3. Be present & let it be.
- BE with your feelings without fixing them or shoving them away.
- BE – even float! – with your thoughts, without judging or ignoring them.
- Allow yourself to notice everything that is surfacing.
- Let yourself be fully aware and fully present with all of it, just as you would with a child who needs to be heard and understood.
4. Wrap yourself in TLC.
- Gift yourself with deep compassion. Its OK and safe to let your defensive walls down. If that means you cry, feel anger or sadness, stomp your feet, punch a pillow – or something else to release that energy – know it’s okay to allow yourself to express what needs to be released.
- Mentally list or jot down everything that’s stressing you out right now. Nobody else will see it or have to know, this is only for you. Acknowledging is very important!
5. Have your own lady bug moment.
- Accept and acknowledge that things are %$# BAD right now – YES I’M STRESSED OUT!!!
- Validate just how much you actually have on your plate right now. Get real with yourself and appreciate that it’s perfectly NORMAL to feel this stress.
6. Take stock of what is true at this moment.
- Take this opportunity to assess your current circumstances and determine just what you can control and what you might need to let go of. And be RUTHLESS – because we professional women LOVE to hang onto control, right!?
7. Shift your mindset and regain your momentum.
- So, now that you’ve decided what you CAN control, get curious and ask yourself what possible message or lessons can this stressful experience teach you?
- Think of a different way to consider your current situation that FEELS MORE EMPOWERING and helps you move forward with ease and inspired action.
8. So – Are you ready to get it on?
- Now that you’ve shifted into a much fresher mindset – what’ll you do? We professional women always like to have a plan, what’s yours going to be?
- Now that you’ve put a collar on your stress, which direction will you take?
9. Relish your time-out.
- Acknowledge what you’ve accomplished in mere minutes. Don’t you love that fresh, empowered feeling? Can you believe how your energy’s shifted?
- Don’t forget how important it is to gift yourself with regular care. Pamper yourself.
10. Rinse and repeat.
- Lean into this quick, concrete go-to strategy for stress relief. Access it whenever you need it – whenever stress raises its menacing presence. There’s no stopping you now!
Stress is a reaction that can put anyone of us on a tightrope of emotions and negative mindsets.
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Let me know what you think of this quick 10-step guide.
What steps do you find most helpful? Enter your comments in the space below.