Did You Know it’s Healthy to Feel All Your Feels, Even the Messy Ones? – Part 1

What are you feeling these days?

I know. That can be such a loaded question….

But our first Valentine season of pandemic-style love, romance, and all things chocolate, has just passed, so it’s not a big stretch to still be thinking about matters of the heart.

And, well, feelings….

I mean, these past 11 months have been an intense emotional roller-coaster at times.

COVID-19 – and its many new variants – continues to impose masking, social distancing and ever-changing restrictions on our daily lives while we anxiously wait for vaccine logistics to be sorted out.

It’s been hard, right?!

It’s no wonder we’re ALL experiencing a gamut of emotions and feelings!

I mean, have you ever had moments during this pandemic like so many of my clients, friends, family, and I have? Moments when you’ve…

…been consumed by stress?

…had bouts of anxiety and depression?

…felt fits of anger?

…experienced waves of sadness?

…Or simply disconnected from feeling anything, and stayed emotionally numb?

If you nodded ‘yes’ to any of these, just know we really are in this together….

It’s perfectly understandable that we struggle to process these difficult feelings and emotions.

We are, after all, not only living through a pandemic in our bubbles, but also dealing with floundering economies, lost businesses, distressing climate change, political conflict, and social unrest.

And, that’s only part of the story….

OUR DIFFICULT FEELINGS COME WITH SOME BAGGAGE

Even without today’s challenging circumstances, dealing with difficult feelings and emotions can be hard for several reasons.

How often were you told as a kid – or even now as an adult – not to be angry, sad, or disappointed?

So when we have a negative feeling, we usually do what we can to avoid it, like:

…ignore or discount it

…pretend it’s not there

…hide it from others

…stuff it down out of sight

…or avoid it by finding ways to distract ourselves from feeling any of the ‘bad’ feels.

Our thoughts – conscious or subconscious – trigger emotions and feelings.

According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, 95% of the thoughts that run our lives are on auto-pilot.

And by the way, those thoughts include our attitudes, beliefs, and the meanings we attach to past experiences, plus whatever we might imagine!

 “Neuroscientists have shown that most of our decisions, actions, emotions and behavior depend on the 95% of brain activity that is beyond our conscious awareness, which means that 95% of our life comes from the programming in our subconscious mind.”

– Dr. Bruce Lipton

Since emotions are a reaction to our thoughts, we have the power to choose how to respond!

Yay!  Our negative emotions in particular, no longer get to hijack our actions (or reactions!).

Negative emotions are not what impacts our health. The culprit is how we react and process them.

So what’s key, is understanding our negative emotions and their triggers, and developing positive coping strategies to address them.

OUR EMOTIONS MATTER. DEEPLY.

Here’s the thing.

We all experience emotions …

They’re in our DNA.

And whatever emotions we feel, are ALL completely normal.

Our emotions and feelings, well, they just… ARE.

And yet it’s surprising how little attention we give to what we’re feeling.

All emotions — positive and negative — must be experienced in order for growth to happen in a healthy and balanced way.

That means really looking at our feelings and feeling all the feels.

Processing and allowing what we feel, helps us avoid the potentially harmful long-term implications that unprocessed emotions can have on us.

Emotions need to be validated, understood and at minimum, acknowledged. And better yet, accepted.

To really appreciate the importance of this, take some time out and watch Inside Out, Disney’s Pixar movie!

It’s a fun, insightful 90 minute portrayal of a character who doesn’t allow herself to be anything but joyful despite a difficult time in her life. Find out how the five emotions – joy, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust – then take over.

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IMPACT OUR HEALTH & WELLBEING

Negative emotions may cause all sorts of health issues – emotionally, mentally, and physically:

• Chronic stress
• Decreased immune defenses
• Increase risk of heart disease
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Dizziness; High blood pressure
• Insomnia or irregular sleep patterns
• Physical aches & pains
• Digestive disorders
• Poor memory/Brain fog/ Inability to make decisions
• Allergies & asthma
• Getting sick frequently
• Chronic fatigue
• Loss of appetite
• Mentally stuck in a ruminating rabbit hole – from repeatedly dwelling on the same ‘what and why’ of a negative emotional situation without any focus on solutions.

Negative emotions may cause unhealthy, over-indulgent lifestyle habits:

• Excessive alcohol, tobacco, drugs/medication
• Overeating
• Shopping
• Gambling
• Bingeing – TV, video-gaming

THE SKINNY ON UNPLEASANT OR NEGATIVE FEELINGS

Because we’re taught to quash any expression of unpleasant feelings, it makes sense that we shy away from emotions that make us feel bad.

But that is NOT a healthy solution.

It’s important to understand, that negative emotions are a very normal, healthy part of life.

The truth is, all emotions are a source of information, even the negative ones.

Because they’re designed to keep us safe, negative emotions tend to show up as warning signs; signaling either potential threats or that something isn’t quite right, in order that we might take some kind of course corrective action.

“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.”

― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

The net-net?

Feel all the feels you can, Bella!

It’s that important to our mental health and well-being.

Keep an eye out for the second part of this 2-part series! We dive into the pros and cons of common negative emotions, plus some healthy “how-to” coping strategies

Struggling with difficult emotions and feelings? I can help you with coping strategies that will improve your mental and emotional health and well-being.

Book a FREE Clarity Chat with me on my calendar by clicking this button.

Is your emotional stress level making it impossible to be optimistic about ANYTHING? Want to get a better handle on your stress triggers and avoid the health effects of burnout?

What are you feeling these days?

I’d love to hear from you… Which negative emotions do you struggle with the most during these challenging times? Leave me your comments in the space below (and thanks for sharing!).