Be Safe. Stay Strong.

Can you relate? I’ve been wondering – more than 8 weeks into the new world order that is this COVID-19 crisis – why am I reacting the way that I am?

Things are starting to reopen. There’s a glimmer of light ahead…..

Why am I feeling so despairing? Unsettled? Uncertain?

And THERE it is….

• The self-judgement…
• The comparison‘itus’…
• And, the confirmation that I’m LOUSY at coaching myself!

And then there’s Facebook-land…

Without a doubt social media has been a godsend during this time of physical isolation and lockdown. It helps us stay connected to almost every aspect of our lives – friends, family, school, work, entertainment, and shopping.

On the flip side, there is a glaring disparity between what we see scrolling through Facebook, and the reality we’re living in an ever-changing “new normal”.

Let’s be honest… How many Facebook posts have you seen in the past few months that had you questioning:

• Why am I not baking up a storm every day?
• Why have I not yet ploughed my lawn into a vegetable garden?
• Why have I not started that quilt honouring those lost lives in Nova Scotia?
• Why have I not mastered homeschooling?
• Why haven’t I done more to help essential workers?
• Why do I feel guilty because my life hasn’t changed all that dramatically?
• Why am I healthy and safe and doing NOTHING, really?
• Why am I feeling sorry for myself or NOT feeling gratitude as much as I should?
• Why am I not as productive as I thought I would be, now that I’m always home?

I’m certainly guilty of wondering some of these questions. But I’m in good company because many of my friends, family and clients are too! And maybe you are, too.

There’s a world full of people on this planet right now, feeling a lot of STUFF.

When Facebook-land is the lens we use to judge and compare ourselves, we’re in deep doo-doo!

Yes, we all question and judge ourselves. We’re human! But Facebook isn’t reality.

We all know that. And still, it’s really easy to get sucked into all that shiny stuff.

A client shared her exasperation about this:

“I feel so much pressure when I’m on Facebook! I see all this stuff going on – like these families who get together and coordinate TikTok dance routines or reproduce museum masterpieces. I start thinking ‘oh mmm ggg, I should be doing that! Why am I not doing that?’ knowing full well my family would never do any of that!”

I GET that, don’t you? There’s a reason so many people practice digital detoxing….

HERE’S WHAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE SO FAR…

We’re NOT alone. We ARE in this together!

It’s okay however you’re handling the circumstances of this pandemic.   That’s what’s true for YOU.

What you don’t want to do is allow the self-judgement and comparisons to reduce who and where you are right now.

Accept where you’re at and how you feel in this moment.

…So what if you’re going without make up, looking like sh#*t, and don’t feel like doing anything?

…Who cares if you’re NOT being productive?

…Why wouldn’t your energy feel drained these days – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and/or physically?

My guess is, you’re processing. We’re ALL processing…. What’s not to process during a pandemic??

We need time to figure stuff out! What matters now? What doesn’t matter as much anymore?

Values are being scrambled. Change is absolutely happening. This is all deep, personal work.

Set yourself a goal to feel good about YOU. That means getting out of your head:

• Don’t compare yourself.
• Stop judging yourself.
• Do what feels uplifting.
• Celebrate moments.

It’s okay to BE where you are! You’re perfect, bella.

AND TO MAKE MY POINT – LIKE MAGIC! …

I came across this poem posted on Tao & Zen, a favorite page I like to follow (on Facebook, of course!).

This poem, written by John Roedel, touched me so deeply, I’ve adopted it as my personal anthem for this pandemic, and the weeks and months to come.

I hope it brings you the same solace and pause for hope it gives me.

Me:  Hey [Universe].
 
[Universe]:  Hello…..
 
Me:  I’m falling apart. Can you put me back together?
 
[Universe]:  I would rather not.
 
Me:  Why?
 
[Universe]:  Because you aren’t a puzzle.

Me:  What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground?
 
[Universe]:  Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason.  Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back.
 
Me:  You don’t understand! I’m breaking down!
 
[Universe]:  No – you don’t understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren’t falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don’t need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don’t fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go.
 
Me:  Once I start doing that, what will be left of me?
 
[Universe]:  Only the very best pieces of you.
 
Me:  I’m scared of changing.
 
[Universe]:  I keep telling you – YOU AREN’T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING!
 
Me:  Becoming who?
 
[Universe]:  Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided to adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don’t change! … Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I’m going to keep telling you this until you remember it.
 
Me:  There goes another piece.
 
[Universe]:  Yep. Let it be.
 
Me:  So … I’m not broken?
 
[Universe]:  Of course Not! – but you are breaking like the dawn. It’s a new day. Become!!!

Artwork Source

Stay healthy and be well, Bella

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What about YOU?  How are you managing this COVID-19 crisis and physical distancing?   

I’d love to know what your biggest struggles are these days, and what you’re doing to overcome them….   Drop them in comments in the space below (and thanks for sharing!).