You know that moment when you feel wiggle-your-toes happy? You leap out of bed, bursting with excitement and energy, ready to take on the day?
Well, that invincible feeling is even sweeter when you’ve had some tough sh*t happen, and landed back on your feet, stronger, happier and more confident than ever!
Welcome to the magic of The Meadow, and today’s topic.
This is the third blog in a 4-part series that unpacks the 4 stages of transition when dealing with change:
Stage 1: The Cliff (Sh*t Happens)
Stage 2: The Forest (A New Path)
Stage 3: The Meadow (Loving Life)
Stage 4: The Hills (Living Life)
If you missed the first two blogs, no worries! Click the links below to catch up.
Stage 1: The Cliff (Sh*t Happens)
Stage 2: The Forest (A New Path)
Guaranteed, they’re both full of valuable insights and tips to help you navigate change and transitions quickly and smoothly!
They’ll bring you up to speed and give context to today’s topic – the third stage of transition, The Meadow.
Let’s explore that magic!
The Meadow (Loving Life)
This is THE breakthrough stage of any transition journey…. Here, we’re on fertile ground and we see the path to our new “normal” with crystal clarity.
We’re open to the opportunities and possibilities ahead, and eager to plot our new direction!
Finally, we can EXHALE…
The Meadow gives us space to put our ducks in a row, mobilize, and get ready to move forward.
It’s where we develop, flesh out, organize, and prepare for our new “normal” – that new path, direction, or plan that started percolating in the previous stage. Maybe it’s a shift in the nature of a relationship, career, project, or goal – or just a single aspect of any one of these.
We don’t love The Meadow immediately. We’re cautiously optimistic in the beginning. It’s a process for most of us to regain our confidence after challenging, difficult, or unexpected circumstances.
So, we’re hesitant to make permanent commitments at first. We tread lightly, taking one step at a time.
But we do get there!
And ooh la la, how we BLOSSOM in The Meadow!
We fall in love with life again. And we’re wiser with a stronger self-identity.
We’re excited, re-energized, and have a keener understanding of our values and attitudes.
We’ve gained a new appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity and gifts our challenging, perhaps painful, experience has taught us.
Such HUGE growth and evolution!
And guess what?
The Meadow is the stage when our confidence is at its ABSOLUTE MAX! Who knew?!
Boom…Mic drop!
Each forward step in The Meadow empowers us to create a path that’s THE perfect new “normal” for us.
This kind of work is transformative. Even life-changing!
[A CASE STUDY] MEET EILEEN – A dynamic, vibrant corporate VP of Marketing
With Eileen’s permission, I’ve been sharing each stage of her transition journey in this 4-part blog series.
When we met, Eileen and her husband were in couple’s therapy to repair their marriage. That continued while I worked privately with Eileen to help her move forward from the affair.
If you missed any of Eileen’s story in the first two blogs, catch up now! Start here and find out what landed her at The Cliff, and finish here for her experience in The Forest!
Now, to continue….
Eileen – In The Meadow…
Optimistic entering this stage of transition, Eileen had clear expectations for her new “normal” and an action mindset. Thoughts like:
This marriage is broken. We need to put it, and the affair, in the past and reinvent a NEW marriage.
With 20+ years in, this is a huge opportunity to make this NEW marriage exactly what we want!
He needs to be part of the solution; the only way I’ll stay in this marriage is if we’re both 100% committed to making it work.
He tells me he’s 100% in, but do I trust that?
For me to make this work, I’ll need to find a way to forgive him.
Once Eileen made her decision to stay in the marriage, the weight of the affair lifted almost immediately.
She felt a whole new level of freedom, and mixed emotions:
…Relief for finally reaching a decision that felt really good to her.
…Peace of mind, especially for the wellbeing of her kids.
…A new sense of excitement, anticipation and adventure for what she and her husband wanted to create.
…Confidence and enthusiasm to do whatever was necessary to make her new “normal” work.
Trusting herself – and her decision to remain in her marriage – Eileen felt strong, confident, and free for the first time in months!
Like anyone else, she had some definite FEARs too:
…Was she kidding herself (once a cheater, always a cheater…)?
…Maybe 20+ years of marriage had run its course.
…Their “new” marriage would never survive.
Eileen’s “work” in The Meadow stage meant embracing her decision to stay in the marriage: Continuing to rebuild her sense of trust, and learning how to actively BE in her marriage. Staying on the sidelines, in retreat-and-protect mode, was no longer an option.
Despite her fears entering The Meadow, Eileen did what she does best. She dove headlong into action, putting her ducks in a row:
… Testing and practicing new ways to trust her husband, little by little
… Committed to reaching forgiveness – not for every woman in the same circumstances, but an important, personal choice for Eileen
… Reinstating regular weekly “dates” and a return to intimacy
… Engaging in healthier communication
And that big, beautiful bonus… Eileen’s unexpected breakthrough in VULNERABILITY!
Like so many professional and corporate women I coach, Eileen was really, really good at simply putting private issues and feelings into full lockdown.
Her emotional commitment to invest in her marriage proved to be greater than her fear of being vulnerable. LIFE-CHANGER!
Now that Eileen had concrete strategies prepared, and a solid foundation was ready, her time in The Meadow stage of transition was over. Her new “normal” was just one leap away…
WHAT ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU IN THE MEADOW RIGHT NOW? EXCITED AND LOVING LIFE?
Recovering from the affair was Eileen’s journey. The fallout you might be facing is probably different. Maybe you’re rebounding from…
- A different kind of relationship upheaval
- A serious health diagnosis (yours or a loved one)
- A major lifestyle shift
- A challenge nobody “gets” or that’s too private to share
- A major disappointment after reaching a dream goal
- An unexpected failure
- Life reassessment
Guaranteed, we’ve all experienced change and transition – most of us, multiple times. Eventually, we make decisions and choices that lead to The Meadow.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE IN THE MEADOW
Expect to experience a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviors in The Meadow. Here are the most common ones that pop up:
Some thoughts you might have…
- What a relief to put this all behind me and look forward to the day!
- I finally get to focus on something positive!
- I’m so excited about what’s ahead for me (ie. new solution, decision, direction).
- What if…? (options-opportunity-possibility thinking)
At first, you might feel…
- Hopeful about your new path and direction
- Reluctant to completely trust yourself or your ability to succeed
- Cautious to make firm commitments
- Careful, taking one step at a time
And by the end of this stage, you might be….
- Energized, motivated, full of anticipation
- Excited and optimistic
- Productive – finally getting traction and making things happen
- Fully committed and confident in your decisions, choices, and direction
- Scared of failing (or maybe succeeding!)
Your (re)action might be to…
- Stretch beyond your comfort zone and personal boundaries to explore new opportunities and possibilities
- Get into action by putting your ducks in a row – planning, researching and testing how to best PREPARE your path forward
- Reach out to others to support your new path
- Continue to assess, evaluate, and explore what’s needed in order to be ready to implement your new path
Try This Next Baby Step if You’re In The Meadow
In this stage of transition, you’re at a turning point. It’s the first time you’ve landed back on your feet since that challenge or sh*t first hit the fan.
You’ve done a lot of work just getting here!
Every turning point comes with a million little moments of decisive actions. Depending on your level of confidence, these may – or may not – be loaded with triggers.
I want you to know that wherever you are in The Meadow, you’re in the perfect spot. Whatever you’re thinking, feeling and doing there, it’s perfectly normal.
Take a breath, and just for a minute, celebrate making it to The Meadow, and how far you’ve come!
The two previous stages of transition – The Cliff and The Forest – have prepared you well! Acknowledge the work you’ve done and all the crap you’ve let go of on this journey:
… That crucial “time out” for reflection and self-renewal.
… Time to heal and release negative energy – fears, anxiety, limiting beliefs.
… Space to break through difficult triggers and roadblocks that kept you from taking even small action steps forward.
Of all 4 stages of transition, The Meadow is THE place to be. We know exactly the outcome we want, and get to decide how we want that to happen. We’re living the dream and loving life!
Who wants to leave that…EVER?
But here’s the thing…. We just can’t stay “getting ready to get ready”.
Your BIGGEST step now? L.E.A.V.E. The Meadow.
You’re soooo prepared, capable, and READY to make this one last leap….
It’s time to IMPLEMENT your new “normal”. So go!
Jump into your new life (or new goal, new relationship, new plan – or a tiny slice of whatever IS your new “normal”)….
Trust me Bella, you’ve totally got this!
Learn about the final stage of transition – Stage 4, The Hills (Living Life) – in my next blog, coming soon! Plus, get the inside scoop on my client Eileen, as I wrap up her journey.
Stressed by changes happening in your life? Unsure what to do? I’ve got your back.
Book a FREE Clarity Chat with me on my calendar by clicking this button.
Are you experiencing a difficult change and transition and feeling stuck? Find yourself reluctant to leave The Meadow?
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Tell me how you’ve experienced change and transition in your life.
What resonates most for you about The Meadow? Leave me your comments in the space below (and thanks for sharing!).